The United States of Slovenia

Typically there is a week delay on most of my posts.  For example, when I wrote about Croatia I was already well into Bosnia.  You may have been keen enough to see through my masterful illusions, but I think it warrants mention since I am belated in wishing the United States of America a very happy birthday.  

When I studied abroad in Italy in 2005, Ljubljana, Slovenia, was a big hot spot to visit on the weekends.  It's close proximity to Italy, it's charming character and probably what was most attractive to me when I was 21, the 5-star night life.  I'd been boasting about Ljubljana to all of my friends for years now and was excited to get a chance to show her off as a city and a country that doesn't necessarily get a lot of attention from US travelers.  Then I got really nervous that it wouldn't live up to my hype.  Good god, I was only a 21 year old drunkard.  Did I even do anything else besides sample that famous night life?  

It was a huge sigh of relief when we got to Ljubljana and found that the city had improved since I'd been here (with the slight exception that they have converted to the Euro since my last visit and the used-to-be cheap prices have been Euro-fied).  The adorable city has a new bike share program where you can rent cute, basket equipped cruisers by the hour.  There are genius bike "parking lots" all over the city where you can acquire a bike through an automated machine similar to, but less frustrating than the automated parking meter.  Bike rental is even free if you use it for under an hour!  For years I lived in Portland, Oregon; the mecca of biking.  A town that is so bikable and full of earth conscious hippies that it is becoming uncool to even look at a car.  Frankly, Ljubljana is kicking Portland's cycling ass.  Needless to say, our group of five spent many afternoons singing the entire score from the Sound of Music while riding along the cobblestone streets on our family bike ride.  I'm sure the locals thought it was just as adorable as I am describing it.  

Ljubljana, of course, also proved to be the perfect location for Independence Day.  My friend, Kyle, has thrown an annual 4th of July 4Beer-4K for the past 11 years and being in another country was not going to stop her from celebrating our freedom properly.  Kyle's god given talent for creating elaborate scavenger hunts is rivaled by no one else.  No one.  In one morning, and in an unfamiliar city no less, she threw together an elaborate four hour adventure that would put Toby Keith's patriotism to shame.  Donning our best American flag attire we unscrambled clues, found important American landmarks (yes, even in Slovenia) and sang patriotic songs in front of the embassy.  It is measure of my commitment to a costume when I tell you that I found and have been carrying my 4 of July outfit since Thailand.  No, I didn't use that precious space in my backpack for a useful pair of underwear or a practical pair of pants.  No, no, my friends, a sequined American flag mini dress took obvious priority.  The biggest surprise was that many of the locals not only knew it was our independence day, but also were overly excited about our choice of attire (the one exception being a angsty teenager who made loud, animated barfing noises at us).  We ended the escapade at the hilltop castle overlooking the city where the waiter was so elated he brought us free wine, free shots AND free dessert.  Who says freedom ain't free?

Kelly and I, feeling like hot garbage juice after the hearty celebrating, decided we were overdue for some proper exercise.  We went to the local gym to sweat off the booze in a Zumba class.  Zumba is probably the most ridiculous form of exercise (don't get me wrong, I love this shit) as it is just dancing, or flailing about in my case, to awesome pop and hip-hop music.  There are definitely legitimate aerobic advantages to this class, but no one is trying to claim that this is any sort of Olympic lifting program here.  Our instructor was a freakishly fit, energetic and down right hot lady who preceded to kick my ass.  She did compliment(?) Kelly and I though by telling us that we danced like ho-bags.  Only after the class do we find out that Miss Fitness holds the coveted designation as Slovenia's Playmate of the Year.  A playmate calling us hos?  If mom's not proud of that, well I at least know several friends who will be jealous.  Especially now that I'm about to mention that we also saw her naked in the showers and didn't even have to pay the $4.95 for the magazine.  God bless Slovenia, let freedom ring!