Bali Bali Bali

To your obvious shock, Bali is vastly different from the Kiwi land we've come accustomed to in the past few months.  It is sizzling, humid and densely populated.  It feels busier than even Auckland during the World Cup finals.  Ok, a slight exaggeration, but I haven't been able to walk 50 feet without being asked if I need a taxi or a massage; sometimes both questions coming from the same person.  This description may initially sound like complaining, however, I assure you it is not.  We are, after all, in a tropical paradise.  The sun and beaches do wonders for your mood and skin.  Plus, who doesn't want a five dollar massage?  

It is definitely taking some adjustment though.  For example, the money situation is about as confusing as calculous is to a kindergartner (or your average grown adult).  Roughly $1 US is about 10,000 Rupiah.  I can't figure out how I feel about having a wad of 2.5 million in currency in my pocket; I go between feeling like a baller and just incredibly uncomfortable.  Other Balinese things that are taking some getting used to include: the food, the exhausting ritual of haggling for everything and monkeys.

We are currently in Ubud, which is home to the Monkey Forest.  Fairly self explanatory.  You are warned, repeatedly, not to have any food on you or in your bag; the sharp fanged and sometimes rabies harboring primates will not hesitate to take your Lunchable.  Of course, a fair number of camera toting morons will still bring in bananas in hopes to capture that Kodak moment where the monkey rips your face off.  Kelly was understandably wary and guarded upon entering the forest, whereas I was blissfully unaffected and entertaining myself by taking pictures of all the monkeys with oversized balls.   Don't worry, I've attached a picture below, you perverts.  

Monkey Forest, not just a clever name, is jammed packed with these vine swinging fur balls; you often have to step around a mother feeding her baby, one brother picking the lice out of the other brother's butt or the occasional monkey fight (monkey fights are just inherently funny, even if they do seem a little dangerous in person).  We had to cross a bridge that, not surprisingly, was a prime location to quite a few loitering monkeys.  To my shock, one of the big males suddenly snatched my upper arm in one of his eerily human like hands.  When I tried to pull away, he simply gave me a defying look and then latched on with his other hand as well.  Their faces are also too human like, the fact that I can say his expression was defiant is creepy simply because it is absolutely accurate.  So what do you do with a monkey who has now claimed your arm?  Well, I can tell you that yelling at it like you would your yellow lab is not effective.  "No", "bad monkey" and "get the fuck off my arm!" were definitely ignored.  I'm such a tourist to assume this guy was bilingual, but hell if I speak a word of Malay.  After quite sometime of arm tug-of-war, all the while I was thinking, "please don't bite me or climb on my hair", he finally relinquished my arm without leaving so much as a scratch.  Good thing, since I don't think I'm up to date on my rabies vaccination.  In the end, I think the miscommunication was that he simply thought he smelled food on me.  In actuality, I probably just smelled like a garlic laden Indian curry due to my deodorant's substandard effectiveness in this climate.