Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

It's been getting increasingly harder to write posts with any entertainment value.  My lifestyle as of late has mostly included a lot of lounging: reading, hammocking, floating in the ocean, hammocking, eating and, most importantly, hammocking.  On the eve of a new week, I voiced my concerns to Kelly and Dayna about being able to write anything remotely interesting.  Kelly suggested that I don't necessarily need to be entertaining and that I could merely reflect on my feelings for this installment.  Besides looking alike, you can tell Dayna and I are sisters based on our general state of asshole-ness.  In response to Kelly's suggestion, Dayna verbally expressed what I was struggling to suppress, "That would be BORING".  I'll try to keep my sentiments to a minimum for you.  So in attempts to spice up what the group has predicted to be a dull entry this week, I'm currently writing this naked (alright and the room has no A/C and I'm melting).  Let me know if it works.  

Let me get right to describing a typical day over the past week.  We've taken up residence on the ultra mellow island of Koh Lanta in the Andaman Sea.  After the standard two hour breakfast, leisurely swim, followed by an extended lunch we went to the "sports bar" across the street to watch some Super 15 Rugby.  My favorite.  More accurately described, the bar is simply a minuscule thatch hut equipped with several TVs and a few dusty bottles of liquor.  The place is run by a gay, pot smoking, super generous, French ex-pat.  Admittedly he is not even a huge rugby fan, but enjoys anytime he gets to see Dan Carter on TV.  His complaint during the halftime, when the coverage cuts to the locker room footage of the shirtless athletes, was that the players were not actually fully stripping down to change into new uniforms.  God bless him for paying the exorbitant subscription fees for the sports channel on a secluded island.  Exhausted from the entertainment and indulgence, we managed squeezed in an afternoon swim before dinner.  While all of this adds up to be an amazing day, it's not quite the knee slapper.  Just a day full of happiness (see, I did talk about my feelings!).

This pre-blog discussion was perhaps a slight wake up call.  For the love of blog, have we become so lazy that we are failing to take the bull by the horns?  In attempts to break the cycle of complacency, we did you all a little favor and packed in a few activities in the last 24 hours (you're welcome); Muay Thai Boxing, Kayaking and, the highlight of the day, Kelly getting herself locked in the bathroom.   

Muay Thai Boxing is about what you'd expect; a bunch of dudes beating the shit out of each other.  I find these events to be a most captivating and they frankly inspire me in a way that encourages drunk fighting.  The drunk part inspired by the arena's bucket cocktails.  Why Thailand is opposed to a simple pint glass is mind boggling.  In the end peace was managed by the little voice in the back of my head reminding me that I had to get up and go Kayaking the next day.

Despite the Thai affinity for making drinks in the same vessel you would use to construct sand castles, we made it to our Kayaking adventure.  In the blazing heat, that causes you to sweat out more alcohol than you actual consumed the night before, we hit the water.  Dayna and I smirked as we got our own Kayak and Kelly was forced to pair up with the tour leader.  Looser.  We then quickly realized that paddling is hard.  Forget the heat, forget the lingering booze, our sisterly connection apparently does not extend into the realm of synchronized paddling.  We spent most of our efforts laboriously spinning in circles with occasional breaks to ram ourselves into the shore.  The guide, who doesn't speak a lick of english, makes a point of tapping Kelly on the shoulder every time we get stuck so they can have a hearty laugh together.  By the time we actually reach our destination, I'm so exhausted that I couldn't give a flying fuck about the wild monkeys, various varieties of crabs or the mudskippers, the fish that can walk on land (it's what I imagine evolution looked like all those years ago).  In the end Dayna and I miraculously found our groove and successfully, if not almost athletically, made it back alive.  

Upon our return home for a much needed shower and a drink, Kelly found herself the victim of a Thailand bathroom.  Thus, inherently delaying the critical drink part of the plan.  So selfish.  Forgetting the bathroom doorknob in our bungalow was only half up to code (there was only a knob on one side of the door), Kelly in a crazy notion of privacy firmly shut the door to take her shower.  Freshly showered and fully naked she realized her mistake.  As hard as we pushed, jiggled and manipulated the would be handle, it was no use.  Dayna ran to the front desk to explain the predicament and solicit some help.  A funny thing trying to explain that your naked friend is trapped in the bathroom to someone who doesn't speak english.  That one didn't make it into the Thai phrasebook.  Eventually Dayna's sign language skills paid off and rescue was on the way...only they didn't know how to break her out either.  A lot more jiggling ensued before they brought in a wrench, a razor blade and what can most accurately be described as a pokey object.  After another 30 minutes it was the pokey devise that finally prevailed.  A liberated Kelly later and I finally had something to write about.